I was just telling a friend that although my relationships might not have been ideal, I did learn something from them. Particularly, how to spot red flags. All the things men say, sometimes right off the bat, that we ignore and try to deal with, but later realize are much worse than we’d initially thought. And this goes for guys in their 20s or older, who should’ve interacted with women by now.
— Disclaimer, yes obviously I’m not perfect. AND these obviously don’t apply to all men (hopefully). These are just from my personal experiences as someone who has many male friends and has experienced these first hand —
Anywhoo, let’s get on with the list:
What He Says vs What He Means:
- “I’m a bad texter “— I take 2–3 business days to respond
- “I’m bad at time management” — I can only do 1 thing at a time. Any more and I will ignore you for a week
- “I can kinda cook!” — yeah no I can’t cook for shit. I will make you ramen once and talk about it for a year
- “I think I’m close to my family?” — my mom babies me
- “Flirting isn’t really my thing” — yeah I’m boring af and you’ll feel unwanted
- “I’m not super clean but I’m not a slob” — 100% a slob. My things will be ALL over your place
- “I really need my sleep” — if I wake up early one day you won’t see me for 5
- “I’m not great at planning” — if you wanna do things, you have to make every little plan always, no surprises
- “I’m more of a chill person” — I won’t do anything spontaneous or exciting
- “I’m not the jealous type” — I won’t say I’m jealous, but I’ll hate the guy friends you’re close to for no reason. yes even the gay ones
- “I’m not super into social media” — I will not be showing you off.
- “I’ve never asked someone out before” — I have no idea how to take initiative
- “I’m low maintenance” — I think you should be low maintenance
- “I’m not super into fashion” — I wear sweats all the time. Possibly even on dates.
- “Oh haha yeah IST” — What’s punctuality? I will be late to everything.
- “I don’t get gold diggers” — I am not going to spoil you.
- “Yay equality. Not chauvinism” — I’m not a gentleman. Do you wanna get this check?
- “She’s just a friend” — she’s just a friend. Who is also my backup. Who is also in love with me.
- “You’re a priority” — my last priority but still …
- “Wow that’s fancy” — o shit will I actually have to spend money on you?
- “My friends are just busy” — I don’t care enough to introduce you to them.
- “I dunno where I’ll be that night” — I don’t care enough to commit to plans with you
- “I got you an early Christmas gift!” — I got you a gift instead of the commitment you wanted!
- “Let’s celebrate when we’re together” — umm I don’t wanna put in effort during an LDR
- “I’ll read/watch that later” — I’m just hoping you’ll forget so I don’t gotta
- “I love Kanye” — I’m a dick.
- “I’m not cheating on you” — does flirting with her constantly count as cheating?
- “I like video games” — I will play video games for hours and forget about plans with you
- “Anime isn’t problematic” — I’m fine with objectifying women
- “Umm not all men!” — I’m 100% a misogynist
